I have learned so much from parenting and making choices that I never gave thought to before being a mum. I have always been passionate about children and have had a strong drive to work with them – I feel so good being in their company. Through my childhood, I would watch my big brothers life and always wish I could help him more than I ever could and the tough lessons I learned through letting go of this relationship sparked an even bigger drive in me to do all I can to help children and mothers have a happy life.
Mothering has raised so much interest in me about the influence we have on our children’s emotional and behavioural development through our communication, discipline, healthy boundaries, and our approach to life, how we choose to view our challenges…and many more complexities!
My biggest lesson has been the importance of letting go and trusting myself as a mother and in the magic of life.
I am very grateful to have a very supportive partner and we share the same views…well, not all of the time! I love that his passion and career is in alternative health and he fully supports me in my choices and ways of mothering. I am also very lucky to have my two lovely step-children, Leon 19 and Mirelle 24 who have been in my life forever and have taught me so much through my journey and transition from step-mum to mum!
AGAINST THE GRAIN
I chose not to register my first birth with a doctor and didn’t have any scans with either of my pregnancies. I refused any intervention during both my home-births which meant I had no internal examinations or prodding and gave birth naturally without any drugs, gas or air. I received support from an independent midwife with Ylana, and a doula with Tarnae, who was born in water and was a magical lotus-birth (separate blog coming soon). Although I haemorrhaged significantly with Ylana and retained the placenta, I stayed at home without any doctor or hospital visits and managed to replenish my blood to normal levels without the need for a blood transfusion by drinking my placenta juice and taking homeopathic remedies. After birth, we insisted on no visits from any health visitors. Our children are not registered with a GP and have never been vaccinated.
Our daughter slept in our bed until she was ready to sleep alone and I breastfed whenever she needed milk without using a bottle or expressing. I am still breastfeeding our son who is 19 months and he snuggles next to me every night.
LET THEM LEAD
Through motherhood, it has always felt intrinsically right for me to allow our children to lead the way. I always knew that I would let Ylana breastfeed until she wanted to stop and I felt the same about sleeping together. I picked her up, whenever she cried and carried her in a sling or in my arms, until she was over 2 years old, with the use of a pram when she would go in it! Because it worked (I’ll tell you how in a separate blog!). I raise our son, in the same way.
NOT ALWAYS EASY
Pre motherhood, I didn’t read any books on ‘how to be a parent’ and once a mother, my choices came naturally to me – I really couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.
Even though mothering felt very natural to me, I often received opposition from family, friends and even strangers, especially with my first child! I craved acceptance and trust.
In need of support, I began my search for other parent’s experiences of how I was doing things and I came across the Attachment Parenting theory which put a label to some of the ways I was parenting.
Even though, deep down, I fully trusted my own choices, I felt relieved to read stories of other families who raised confident, independent, loving and caring children in the same way as me. It gave me reassurance in those wavering times and back-up for when I felt I needed to explain myself!
Ylana breastfed until she was 5 ½ years old and naturally weaned, without any upset for her or myself. The transition was so gentle and slow and it felt right. She stayed at home until she was 4 years old when we gradually introduced her with a slow transition to a Steiner Kindergarten and now she attends a Steiner School.
She is now 10 years old and the challenges I experience are different from when she was a baby. I am learning and growing all the time alongside my children.
Our 19 month old son, is at home with me whilst I work around him sleeping… or very occasionally with him on my lap!
I am totally passionate about positive ways to raise children into confident, independent, caring, free-thinking, creative human beings.
“I believe we heal our own pain and suffering when we follow what comes deeply naturally to us as mothers and as we all have a different life story, we must do what feels right for us.”
When we allow ourselves to blossom into our true-selves, our children blossom into their true-selves too.
WHAT BRINGS ME HERE
I am totally committed to authentically sharing with you my honest and raw experiences as a mum… even through my fears of exposing myself!
I am totally motivated to encourage, inspire and motivate you to find your inner confidence no matter how scary it may feel at times. I want to help you listen to your intuition and follow your hearts desires and the ever-so important things that matter to you.
I will help you create the life you really want.
GET SUPPORT WHEN YOU NEED IT…
I welcome you to share anything from your journey or please feel free to contact me if you are experiencing any doubts or challenges that you would like support with.
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WHAT IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM TAKING PART IN THIS CHALLENGE?
HOW CAN YOU/WILL YOU CARRY THIS FORWARD INTO YOUR LIFE?
WHAT FEELINGS COME UP FOR YOU WHEN THINKING ABOUT THE CHALLENGE FINISHING ON MONDAY?
WHAT Do YOU NEED TO SAY NO TO?
WHAT ARE YOU TOLERATING IN YOUR LIFE?
SHARE WITHIN THE GROUP THE THINGS THAT YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO SAY NO TO RIGHT NOW IN YOUR LIFE.
WHAT DOES INTUITION MEAN TO YOU?
WHAT DOES INSTINCT MEAN TO YOU?
SHARE A MOMENT THAT YOU REMEMBER REALLY HIGHLIGHTED THE MAGIC IN LIFE WHEN YOU FOLLOWED YOUR INTUITION/INSTINCT. OR A SYNCHRONICITY THAT YOU REMEMBER…SHARE SOMETHING TO HIGHLIGHT THE BENEFIT THAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED FROM FOLLOWING YOUR INTUITION/INSTINCT.
TAKE YOURSELF INTO A DEEP MEDITATION
CONNECT DEEPLY WITH YOURSELF
IMAGINE YOURSELF AS A SEVEN YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL
WHAT DOES YOUR SEVEN YEAR OLD INNER CHILD NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU RIGHT NOW? TELL HER NOW, THEN SHARE WITHIN THE GROUP.
REWRITE YOUR NEGATIVE SCRIPT!
UNDERNEATH YESTERDAY’S SCRIPT OF YOUR NEGATIVE VOICE, PLEASE WRITE THE POSITIVE VERSION OF EACH NEGATIVE SENTENCE
FOR EXAMPLE: I HATE MYSELF – I LOVE MYSELF
TALK TO YOURSELF AS KINDLY AS YOU WOULD YOUR CHILD.
WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE WORDS AND THINGS YOU SAY TO YOURSELF MOST OFTEN?
REMINDING YOU THIS IS A COMPLETELY SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL, OPEN-HEARTED, NON-JUDGEMENTAL GROUP
PUT ALL FEARS ASIDE AND SHARE ALL THE THINGS YOU SAY ABOUT YOURSELF, AS HONESTLY AND AS OPENLY AS YOU CAN.
WE ALL TALK TO OURSELVES NEGATIVELY – WE LIKELY EVEN SAY THE SAME THINGS TO OURSELVES!
WHAT PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS ARE YOU EXPERIENCING AT THE MOMENT – MAYBE PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS YOU HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING FOR A WHILE, OR MAYBE YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED ACUTE SYMPTOMS DURING CHALLENGE – PLEASE SHARE IF YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE TO DO SO.
WHAT SUPPORT CAN YOU ASK FOR TO HELP YOU COMMIT TO YOUR CHOSEN DAILY ACTION TO BRING YOU CLOSER AND MANIFEST YOUR NUMBER 1 PRIORITY?
WHO CAN YOU ASK THIS SUPPORT FROM?
GET ABSOLUTELY CLEAR ON EXACTLY WHAT SUPPORT YOU NEED AND CLEARLY AND CONCISELY WRITE YOUR REQUEST FOR SUPPORT WITHIN YOUR TRIBE IMAGE FOR TODAY.
BE CREATIVE – THINK OF ALL KINDS OF WAYS THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY RECEIVE SUPPORT – AND ASK FOR IT!-
YOU JUST NEED TO SHARE THIS WITHIN THE GROUP
IF YOU KNEW THERE WAS ONE THING THAT YOU COULD DO DAILY AND YOU WOULD MANIFEST/RECEIVE/REACH YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY – WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING DAILY?
(in other words) IF YOU KNEW YOUR LIFE WOULD CHANGE AND YOU COULD HAVE YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY BY DOING ONE SIMPLE THING EACH DAY – WHAT WOULD IT BE?
SOMETHING VERY SMALL AND ACHIEVABLE!
WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW? (THIS MAY BE DIFFERENT TO DAY 5 REFLECTION AND ANSWER)
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT TO YOU?
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOU NOT HAVING THIS IN YOUR LIFE?
WHO DO YOU MOST COMMONLY FIND YOURSELF COMPARING YOURSELF TO?
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON OR SITUATION?
WHAT QUALITIES DOES THIS PERSON HAVE?
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF SCROLLING THROUGH FACEBOOK OR READING BLOGS OF CERTAIN KIND OF PEOPLE? WHAT KIND ARE THEY? WHAT ARE YOU DRAWN TO? WHAT KIND OF PERSON DO YOU WISH YOU WERE LIKE? WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THEIR LIFE?
DOES A MOMENT, PERSON, SITUATION COME TO YOUR MIND WHICH YOU DEEPLY BELIEVE YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM FORGIVING?
WHAT OR WHO COMES TO YOUR MIND?
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR LESSON IS FROM THIS PERSON OR SITUATION? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO TELL YOU? WHAT IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY WITHIN THIS SITUATION?
DO YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING? IF SO, WHAT?
FAST FORWARD YOURSELF TO YOUR WISE OLD WOMEN HAVING LIVED MOST OF YOUR LIFE AND LOOKING BACK AT YOU RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE.
SHE IS FULL OF WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE
WHAT DOES SHE WANT TO SAY TO YOU NOW?
IF SHE HAS ANY ADVICE FOR YOU… WHAT IS IT?
DO YOU REMEMBER A TIME WHEN SOMEBODY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PARENTING STYLE THAT IMPACTED YOU GREATLY?
WHAT DID THEY SAY?
HOW DID YOU FEEL?
HOW DID IT IMPACT YOUR LIFE AND DID IT AFFECT THE WAY YOU MOTHERED OR HAVE ANY AFFECT ON YOUR LIFE FROM THEN ON?
DO ONE THING FOR YOURSELF TODAY THAT BRINGS YOU JOY. I’M FEELING A VERY FEMININE ENERGY HERE…. NURTURE YOURSELF. THEN USE TODAY AS A CATCH-UP DAY. RE-VISIT CHALLENGES YOU HAVE MISSED.
SHARE THE TITLE AND AUTHOR OF 2 BOOKS THAT HAVE MADE A BIG DIFFERENCE TO YOU AND YOUR LIFE
BOOKS THAT HAVE FALLEN INTO YOUR LAP AT THE RIGHT TIME
WITH THE VERY MESSAGE YOU NEEDED TO HEAR
SHARE WHAT YOU WERE GOING THROUGH AT THE TIME AND HOW THE MESSAGE FROM THE BOOK HELPED YOU (IF YOU WANT TO!)
IF YOU CAN ONLY THINK OF 1 BOOK – SHARE 1 (NO PRESSURE)
WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 PRIORITIES WHEN IT COMES TO HOW YOU WANT YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN RAISED?
I’M TALKING ABOUT YOUR VALUES….
WHAT ARE YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO SACRIFICE WHEN IT COMES TO MOTHERING?
LIST IN ORDER OF 1 – 5
THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT YOU WILL GO ALL-OUT TO MAKE SURE DEFINITELY HAPPENS AS FAR AS YOUR MOTHERING/RAISING YOUR CHILD/REN/h1>
THINKING ABOUT THE AREA THAT YOU MOST NEED SUPPORT IN…
REFLECT ON ALL THE WAYS YOU CAN GET THAT SUPPORT…
THING BIG… THINK EVEN THE IMPOSSIBLE!
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS OR COULD STOP YOU FROM GETTING THIS SUPPORT?
WHAT AREA IN YOUR LIFE WOULD YOU DEARLY LOVE SOME SUPPORT WITH RIGHT NOW?
THINK BIG, THINGS THAT MAY NOT EVEN SEEM POSSIBLE NOW…
WHAT PART OF YOUR LIFE ARE YOU MOST STRUGGLING WITH THAT YOU IF YOU HAD SUPPORT, IT COULD CHANGE IT AROUND FOR YOU?
PLEASE REVISIT TODAY’S VIDEO AND WORK THROUGH THIS ONE MORE TIME THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
FEEDBACK INTO THE GROUP HOW YOU FELT OR ANYTHING THAT CAME UP FOR YOU
REMIND YOURSELF OF ALL THE THINGS FROM YOUR LIST THAT BRING YOU JOY
How can you bring ONE of these things into your life DAILY?
FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS?
ONE JOYFUL THING EVERYDAY!
What are you ready to let go of?
Thinking creatively is there anything in your life right now that you could delegate or actually say NO to?
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITHIN YOUR TRIBE IMAGE FOR TODAY
Only feedback to others if you want to, this is no obligations and not part of today’s challenge!
What do you feel grateful for today?
Who do you feel grateful for today?
WRITE 3 THINGS THAT YOU FEEL GRATEFUL FOR TODAY (BIG OR SMALL!)
What five things give you the most joy?
What do you enjoy doing that GIVES you energy?
What do you do that you KNOW feels right for you?
MAKE A LIST OF FIVE THINGS ONLY
What is your number one priority right now?
Reflecting on your deepest dreams and reflections from Day 1
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS STOPPING YOU FROM LIVING YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST RIGHT NOW?
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS STOPPING YOU HAVING A LIFE EXACTLY AS YOU WISH?
With an absolute open heart and non-judgement..
READ THROUGH YOUR TRIBE MEMBERS REFLECTIONS FROM YESTERDAY (DAY 2)
SHINE THEIR LIGHT BACK AT THEM AND RESPOND BY SHARING WHAT POSITIVE FEELINGS YOU GET FROM READING THEIR POST, SHARE WHAT POSITIVE INTENTIONS YOU HEAR, REFLECT BACK TO THEM THE LIGHT YOU HEAR THROUGH THEIR POST AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU FEEL.
If anything was possible and absolutely nothing standing in your way…
HOW WOULD YOU BE MOTHERING?
WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING DIFFERENTLY TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW?